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BULLYING

         Lots of us joke around with each other, call each other names or "horse around," but that's not considered bullying if you have a good relationship with each other or if you don't intend any harm.

          Bullying occurs when one person (or more)  repeatedly hurts another person through words or actions. Bullying may involve direct physical actions such as hitting or shoving, verbal assaults such as teasing or name-calling, or it may involve more indirect actions such as socially isolating a person or manipulating friendships. A bully wants to put his or her victim in distress in some way.  Bullies seek power.

          Many children and teens are bullied by their peers.  In a study in Scandinavia, which began an extremely successful program on addressing bullying, which has been duplicated throughout the US, about 9 percent of students in primary and junior high schools reported that they had been bullied "now and then" or more frequently, and 7 percent admitted that they had bullied other students at least "now and then."  In the same study, 27 percent of middle schoolers said they had been victims of bullying.

          In a study in South Carolina of 6,500 middle schoolers, one in four children reported that they had been bullied at least "several times" in a three-month period, and 7 percent revealed that they were bullied several times per week.

          The consequences of bullying can be terrible,
even deadly.

People who are bullied may become depressed, have low self-esteem, lose interest in schoolwork or try to avoid attending school.

          More and more, victims of bullying are reacting violently to their situations by attacking their tormentors, committing terrible acts of violence in schools or harming themselves.

          On the other hand, people who victimize their classmates may be heading down a path toward more antisocial behavior and delinquency.

Bullies usually:

• tease, threaten or physically assault others

• are hot-tempered and/or impulsive and have a hard time following rules

• are hyperactive, restless, have difficulty concentrating

• are generally offensive and tension-creating

• are clumsy and immature

• are aggressive toward adults as well as children

• are not anxious or insecure and typically have a positive view of themselves

• show little or no empathy toward their victims

• are involved in other antisocial activities, such as vandalism or stealing

• may be popular, at first, but lose their popularity as they get older and are eventually disliked by the majority of students

 Victims usually:

• are  cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn, passive, submissive and shy

• are anxious, insecure, unhappy, distressed, have poor self-esteem

• have difficulty asserting themselves among their peers

• are physically weaker than their peers

• are afraid of being hurt or hurting themselves and are physically ineffective in play activities, sports and fights and may have poor physical coordinating

• relate better to adults then to peers

• are unpopular with peers and often do not have a single friend

Bullying, even in subtle forms, is harmful and
must not be tolerated.

What you can do:

• All students at school have a duty to help end bullying.

• Make friends with someone who is being bullied, sit with them at lunch or breaks.

• If you are being or have been bullied, share your own experiences with someone who is being bullied.

• Never respond to bullying with violence.

• Report ... Report ... Report bullying to your parents, school authorities, a favorite teacher, or a guidance counselor. "Ratting" or "snitching" occurs when a student tells about an inappropriate act with the idea of getting another student in trouble.  "Reporting" happens when a student tells to protect the safety of another student.

• The consequences of not reporting a bully far outweigh the consequences of being called a "rat" or a "snitch."

• Almost all of us have failed to take action in bullying situations when we know we should have. Often, we feel guilty about that failure and should think harder the next time about the importance of stepping in to help.

• We cannot stand by and see others getting hurt and we do not have to let others hurt us.

• Victims need to know that it isn't their fault and it is not something they should feel ashamed or embarrassed about.

If you are being bullied:

• learn to use loud, strong words to tell the bully how you feel.  Say in a firm voice, "I don't like it;" or "Stop hurting me"; or "I'm not going to stay here and let you hurt me."

• shrug the situation off and get away

• use exercise to release pent-up feelings and work out your anger

• use the event to learn about yourself and the other  person

• talk to someone else to sort out the meaning of the threat and to talk about solutions and ways to handle situations

Resources for Middle School Students

Books:

          Face to Face, Bauer, M.D. (1991)

          Bully on the bus, Bosch, L.W., (1988)

          What a wimp!, Carrick, C (1983)

          The present takers, Chambers, A. (1983)

          Eaglebait, Coryell, S. (1989)

Videos:

          Becoming a Student Watch Representative  (1991) WNSC-TV, Rock Hill, SC ETV, also available on loan from the Institute for Families in Society, 803-737-3186

       Bullying (1995) WIS-TV, Columbia, SC, 803-799-1010

Links 
www.bullbeware.com
members.aol.com/AngriesOut/bullyb.htm  

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