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SUICIDE

         Lots of us have strong feelings of stress, confusion, self-doubt and depression. Pressures to succeed, the economy and the environment can make these feelings stronger.

For some of us, divorce, the development of a new family with step-parents and stepbrothers and sisters, moving to a new community, trying to match society's ideas of an ideal body image or sorting out one's sexual orientation can be extremely stressful and upsetting.

          Some times we're stressed about getting high grades to get into a good university to make our parents happy. Some of us are stressed over making the varsity sports team.

          As a teenager, we can be so overwhelmed by circumstances  we feel we have no control over that we think suicide is a solution.

A person thinking about suicide might show the following symptoms:

  • Change in eating and sleeping habits  

  • Withdrawal from friends and family and from regular activities  

  • Violent or rebellious behavior or running away  

  • Risky behavior -- driving at high speeds, swerving bikes in front of traffic, jumping from heights, swimming in dangerous water  

  • Drinking alcohol to excess or experimenting with other drugs  

  • Unusual neglect of personal appearance  

  • Radical personality change  

  • Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork  

  • Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often related to emotions, such as stomachache, headache, fatigue  

  • Loss of interest in pleasurable activities  

  • Not tolerating praise or rewards  

     
Someone who is planning to commit suicide may also:

  • Complain of being "rotten inside"  

  • Give verbal hints with statements such as: "I won't be a problem for you much longer"; "Nothing matters"; "It's  no use"; "I won't see you again."  

  • Put his or her affairs in order; for example, give away favorite possessions, clean his or her room, throw things away, etc.  

  • Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression  

If you are having thoughts of suicide:

  • Talk to an adult or to someone you know you can trust.  

  • Don't try to justify your thoughts by blaming your parents. (They too feel loneliness, failure, rejection, hurt.)  

  • Remember this: there is a continuity to life. Your suicidal feelings can pass if you can talk about them honestly and openly with a caring adult.  

If you have a friend who is suicidal:

  • Listen to him or her.  

  • Let them know you are concerned.  

  • Ask direct questions such as ... Have you been feeling depressed? Are you thinking about ending your life? Have you  made plans for how you would end your life?  

  • Don't feel you must have all the answers.   

  • Don't explain why life is worth living.  

  • Don't go by a false code of honor -- never promise to keep this information a secret. It is difficult to deal with a situation like this on your own  -- go to an adult.  

  • Tell your friend that because they trusted you  and confided in you, they must trust you to get help, and talk to an adult about this together.  

          People sometimes feel uncomfortable talking about death. But, if you have a friend you feel might be considering suicide, ask them specifically whether they are depressed or thinking about  suicide.                  

You wouldn't be putting the thoughts of suicide into their head, but you would be letting them know that somebody cares and wants to give them a chance to talk about their problems.

          When a person says they want to die or that they want to commit suicide, they are reaching out for attention and love. They feel lonely and want someone to show them they are wanted in this world.

          Be warned though: When a person says they want to die, take it very seriously. They may not be joking when they talk about death.

          The best way to help a person who is depressed or suicidal is to be there for them whenever they need you. You should comfort them and make them feel special. It will raise their spirits and help them realize that suicide is not the answer to their problems. Sometimes, simply listening is very helpful.

          With support from family and friends and professional treatment, people who are suicidal can find a healthier way to go through life and can make better choices.

          Suicidal thoughts are a cry for help. Get help or help a friend get help, whether it's by calling a hot line, talking to an adult you know,  seeking out a school counselor or going to a mental health professional or community mental health center.

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